THE LLAMAS CRICKET CLUB

The Llamas have not played since their abysmal performance in Brightwalton LBW Hangover 6-a-side, with matches against the Jammers and Barnes lost to moist spatterings from above. Hugo is at the end of his tether (not because he’s a horse, though that is quite apt) and has called for mass rioting and looting of umbrella [...]

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A new match report, so eloquently penned that it wouldn’t make it into any of Mr Murdoch’s publications, can be read HERE.

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JAM: a food made by boiling fruit and sugar to a thick consistency. MARMALADE: a clear sweetened jelly in which pieces of fruit and fruit rind are suspended. So now you know. After a busy weekend of mixed fortunes in which the Llamas won their yearly confidence booster and turned up an hour late without [...]

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After posting their 3rd loss of the season when being pummelled by Magnus McLaren’s Trojans XI, things were looking pretty bleak for a group of spitters that had not seen a streak this long since Pete’s naked days in first year. Then, out of the blue, a win! Last year the Llamas had been beaten [...]

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You can walk my path You can wear my shoes Let her talk like me And be an angel too But maybe You ain’t never gonna feel this way You ain’t never gonna know me But I know you… Teach you now that Llamas… can only get better. Or can they? Two matches, two losses [...]

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Game 1 of the Llamas 2011 Season saw a defeat at the hands of the Reigate Llamas, with the highlight of the match being the invasion of a streaker from a nearby pub. Perhaps inspired by the Llamas’ half-hearted performance on the pitch, this streaker put in a half-arsed performance himself, leaving his M&S fitted [...]

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Isn’t it funny how the cricket season sneaks up on you? Billy has barely had a chance to show off his new pink shaft to the boys and suddenly we’re two weeks off a game. Ay caramba! Two more net sessions (Weds, 7pm, Holland Park) and one “bonding” (Sun 22nd, Clapham Common) are planned before [...]

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The following report on the first Llama net session of the year comes from the General Dogsbody Llama himself, Alex Percy: The net surface was both pleasant to bat and bowl on, the lack of roof allowed Charlie to demonstrate his ability to spank me for two consecutive sixes, the surrounding grounds are big and [...]

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Charlie Pushman, as Llama Of The Season for the 2010 season, was given charge of the Llamas’ charitable fund to give to a charity of his choosing. This sum of money was accumulated from match fees throughout the season and Llama Pushman had this to say of his donation: “I have decided to donate the [...]

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As if the rape and pillage of one continent wasn’t enough, Llama Ward recently took it upon himself to cross the final frontier and offend the one place that thought it was safe from his wares… Antarctica. There, he did the one thing a Spitter should do on arrival in a foreign place: PLAY CRICKET. [...]

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